My other home. The Philippine American Culture Center of Michigan (PACCM)

Preparation...
Preparation…

 

It’s been over a month since I’ve seen most of my fellow Filipinos or kababayan in the states who had supported me in my trip.  Today begins the first day of Paaralang Pilipino or Filipino school at the Philippine American Culture Center of Michigan (PACCM).

This year also marks the 4th year that I’ve been a facilitator and mentor for the Paaralang Pilipino school classes.  Those are the Beginners Tagalog and the Filipino Youth Initiative class for the thirteen and older age group.  Prior to teaching I also was once a student in these classes.  I look back at the struggles of identity and searching for where I belonged in the midst of reclaiming and finding home in my community.  For my experience but maybe not for others, there’s an interesting sense of kinship regardless of being adopted and that I’m still seen as a Filipino.  However, during the struggle there were times where involvement and trying to find home, I didn’t always feel like I belonged.

As a student I enjoyed coming here but in my heart I was an outsider.  I stayed persistent but at times I wanted to drop everything, leave the community and stay who I was before.  I thought to myself, if I did that, then I would be waving the white flags and surrendering.  Just giving up on searching and finding out my roots and culture would be the ultimate injustice and wouldn’t have given me the opportunities to have met the most amazing people during this journey who helped keep my head up and supported me and possibly not have any of my questions answered.

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I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.

–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee

–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary

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Blood, Confidentiality & Respect

 

Out of respect for my kababáyan (fellow Filipinos), barángay (municipal town), and lastly, kapamílya (biological relatives), the blog documentations as well as the film release will keep certain information kept confidential.

This will be the challenge of the film but also a learning experience of when one culture meets and learns about another.  Even though I have found many missing pieces of my puzzle, some however are incomplete and may remain that way, and I am ok with that.  But I do know that after this trip, I have a stronger sense of self and where I came from.

Anyways, welcome to my backyard!

Barrio Mabuli
Barrio Mabuli

 

_________

I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.

–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee

–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary

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Sitting in the Terminal

Awaiting my flight to MNL.
Awaiting my flight to MNL.

 

Filipino Heritage Camp is now over.  It was a successful camp like every year meeting new smiling faces as well as seeing old ones.  During the camp and even now, I’ve been hit with an array of emotions.  There are no rational meanings behind them.  I don’t know what they mean just yet.  They are however a spectrum of both positive, negative, and neutral or empty emotions.  Not empty as in depressed but they are still being unraveled I guess like a ball of yarn.  Rather than layers of an onion I’ve learned that everything is more like a ball of yarn where you unravel and unwind it, and every emotion is interconnected to others somehow.

It hasn’t hit me yet that I’m going to finally search and have a reunion as well.  I’m beyond fortunate again to have been given this opportunity.  Although I’ve wanted to go since I was younger, and especially when I was 18 years old, I feel as if a chain of events has fallen into place and certain things have to had impacted, shaped my life, and helped me grow, mature and evolve as a person for me to take on this venture.