binitay-documentary-com | Binitay Documentary

December 18, 2013December 18, 2013

“Araw-Araw” Day by Day Daily Grind

I’ve been on hiatus with keeping up with this blog but life has continued on with compiling the last pieces of footage back here in Michigan to complete my documentary. Life also has kept going on as for work, organizing the Filipino Youth Initiative, and the Basic Filipino Language classes, as well as being the current Youth Chair for Council of Asian Pacific Americans of Michigan.

Even though life continues to move forward, a part of my soul seems suspended within a dimension of time and thought trying to unravel everything. Often I refer to this as a ball of yarn since everything is interconnected one way or another. Also, It is too easy to say that “I am James Beni Wilson”. My identity has a much deeper history than that and encompasses other peoples’ lives who I value now as well. No one is a just a third party. They are very much a part of the large design of life somehow. Everything happens for a reason whether we understand those reasons or not. Every turning point that has opened doors to me in challenging my own identity, I have been given these blessed opportunities to say these prepared me for this journey back to the Philippines to find the truth. Without these opportunities and if I have not been able to come in contact with countless people who I have come across in this journey, I may not have the tools that they gave me to understand everything and to accept what is.

I’ve asked a few people if I have changed since this trip. They’ve said that I seem happier. Knowing details has helped me know where I came from to move forward. Will it be like this for everyone? I cannot answer that for them.

Finding out that she is no longer with us was difficult. The first few nights being back from the Philippines did result in tear drenched pillows. Not only that it’s hard knowing that she passed, but also knowing that I was not abandoned. Finding a way to communicate my/our story without bringing any disrespect won’t be tricky but will be taken in account.

Coming in late January, my journey.

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I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.

–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee

–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary

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August 27, 2013August 29, 2013

In the Province: Island of Cebu, my Home.

For the entire duration of my trip to Cebu, I was without internet access for the entire time. I apologize for that.

Cebu is located in Bisayas which is the central region of the Philippines. Here, the languages are known as the umbrella term of Bisayan/Visayan which is the major language group and have several language variations within it. On Cebu, the major language spoken is known as Cebuano.

During the trip I spent a large chunk of my time with one of my foster sisters, Heszeil. During the Global Consultation on Child Welfare Conference that was held at the Manila Hotel, I met a few nuns who work at Asilo which is an orphanage located in Cebu City. It was just coincidence that my foster sister Heszeil also works at Asilo. What a small world!

A lot has happened while on this journey. My definition for family has been redefined. I found a lot of things about my history and our history, everyone who I’ve crossed paths with or have been in care of. I’ve found belonging in many facets that I didn’t think there will be or imagined.

Foster Family care: A short term solution until a permanent placement can be made.

Biological family: family and it’s members who are related by blood

Sitting on our haunches. My foster family relatives. My feet hurt like this.

As for my biological relatives, I continue to unravel the ball of yarn and find out more about us. Yes it’s confirmed, we, the DSWD staff, foster relatives, and me were able to find them. This redefinition of family has opened boundaries. I have quite a large biological family from my municipality. My mother is a sister of 8 total. I also have a sister. As to who the father is, there are two possible allegations. Although my biological mother has passed away not knowing that I’ve been looking for her and I forgive her, she is still very much alive in my heart and mind and knowing that she did not forget about me and made sure other family members knew of me.

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I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.

–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee

–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary

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August 13, 2013September 21, 2013

Pilipinas. The first five days here.

So much has happened within the first five days here. I can’t even fathom my entire existence of being in my home country. With the comforts of having Lorial Crowder, the co-founder of Filipino Adoptee Network (FAN), assisting me in my stay here I’ve experienced minimal culture shock. Also that we have not ventured outside of Manila yet. Places we’ve hit so far are Kalookan, Quiapo, Makati, Binondo, and now Manila. There’s a sort of disconnection yet familiarity of being here. Maybe it’s because I look like everyone? Yet I look ‘kano’ or American at the same time.

About a day or so after my arrival, I was able to buy ‘load’ or text/call points to contact the Inter-Country Adoption Board (ICAB) and also notify my foster mother that I have arrived here. While at the ICAB office we helped them prepare for the Global Consultation on Child Welfare conference.

Painting in the Inter-Country Adoption Board office (ICAB)

Upon meeting Bernarda T. Torres aka “Mama Nor”, she was so warm and it’s like we’ve known each other since forever. There was not too much of a language barrier since I was able to speak some Taglish (Filipino and English combined) and bits of Cebuano. She had tears in her eyes just like in the photo when I came to America and like when she first heard of me searching for her and the rest of the foster family. I’m beyond fortunate to be given this opportunity to see her once again. I’ve learned even more stuff about her as a foster home as well. We met in Novaliches Bayan, Kalookan where one of her daughters live. I’ve been in contact with her daughter’s son to be able to make it easier to meet them.

My foster mother, "Mama Nor", Bernarda T. Torres — My foster mother, “Mama Nor”, Bernarda T. Torres

June 24, 2013

Binitay means “Hanged”

Binitay means “Hanged.” When I was found, the report said, “The child when found, was placed inside a plastic bag hanged on a banana palm…when the founder… who was pasturing her carabao within the vicinity heard the cry of the baby. “

Twenty-three years later, I hope to travel back to the Philippines to find my birth parents and to reconnect with my foster family. It has been two decades. It’s time.

Behind the name.

People ask, especially Filipinos, why Binitay? Why did you choose that name for your documentary? Well it is my foreshadowing of where I had received my middle name and where I came from. Within my stowed away adoption papers laid secrets of my life prior to my adoption. The orphanage had given me the middle name “Beni” in short of the Tagalog word “binitay”, which means hanged, described in the photo clip above.

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I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.

–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee

–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary

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