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Foiled Plans & Flight Plan

Flight Plan
Flight Plan

With less than a day to leave on my trip it has not sunk in…

Several times since I was 18 I always wanted to go back to the Philippines and search for both my foster family and my birth family.  It would constantly fall through.  I’d be invited by people to be accompanied by them when they go on vacation but I don’t blame them that they didn’t tell they were going.  It’s their vacation.  My trip is more personal.  I’m beyond fortunate to be given this opportunity to not only reconnect with my foster family but also do this biological family search.  Thankfully, I’ll be able to document this experience as well.

It is the most difficult time right now for me to fathom that I’ll be going back.  It has not totally sunk and set in that I’ll be seeing my ‘birth place’.  It hasn’t really hit me that I’ll be seeing these foster family relatives and experiencing the Philippines.  Lastly, it has not ht me that I’ll be making this search for self real.

I feel as if that all of this has been postponed for a reason. Things had to happen within a series of events first before I could make this happen.  This would not have happened without your understanding and support.

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I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.

–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee

–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary

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Sulat. (to write)

My travel journal.
My travel journal.

This was a gift from a close friend of mine.  I’m thankful she bought this for me.  I’m planning on documenting anything that first comes to mind and whatever topics they may be.  Hopefully extending my thoughts through a medium of ink and paper will unravel the ball of yarn in my head and sort out every concious and subconscious spark.  I hope to include a majority if not all of these things in my documentary if they pertain to what I will be communicating and the journey that unfolds before me.

 

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I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.

–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee

–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary

_________

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Umbilical Cord

[2 hours left for my Kickstarter Campaign]

“To find the umbilical cord, one must first go back into the womb.”   p. 84 BABAYLAN, (Mendoza-Strobel)

When I was found, my umbilical cord was infected.  Despite the infected umbilical cord, I was in good health condition.  A trained “hilot” named Aleja, was called to the necessary cutting of the umbilical cord.  

Taken from my adoption papers.
Taken from my adoption papers.

 

Although my umbilical cord has been infected and cut, it doesn’t sever my ties back to where I came from.  This will be my journey going “back into darkness into intervals of pain and joy, denial, discovery, and reconciliation.” (Angel Velasco Shaw)

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I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.

–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee

–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary

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Shared Self

[4 days left for my Kickstarter Campaign]

I was at work and was waiting on a customer a year ago.  She comes in pretty often with her son and daughter. I found out later after politely asking her if they were adopted because both her and husband are white Caucasian while here children are Latino. I find out before she left  that she adopted them from Guatemala.  

When she told me that they were adopted I told her I was too.  She then asked from where and how old I was when I was adopted and I told her that I was adopted from the Philippines at the age of three.  She then told her son that I was adopted too and I thought it was cute because he asked if I was Guatemalan as well.  She then told him “Not all adopted children are Guatemalan”, since his adopted sister is from Guatemala as well and I believe they are biological siblings.

This made me think of past times that I was working and she has come in, her adoptive son that is probably around six years old, would stare at me all the time.  I told her how he would do that after today and also noted that he probably thought I was Guatemalan too.  She smiled back and told me, “Yeah I think he looks for other people who look like him as well”.  

Many flashbacks of when I was his age came into existence and when I would subconsciously look for other people who were like me or looked like me too.

Who I am is more than what reflects back at me in the mirror. I questioned that for 17 years of my life and in search for answers.
Who I am is more than what reflects back at me in the mirror. I questioned that for 17 years of my life and in search for answers.

 

_________

I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.

–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee

–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary

_________

 

 

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Awakened.

[4 days left for my Kickstarter Campaign] My eyes were opened wide after my first  FANHS Seattle conference in 2010.

FANHS Rizal Park, Photo credits to Aldrich Sabac (I believe he took this, correct me if I'm wrong)
FANHS Rizal Park, Photo credits to Aldrich Sabac (I believe he took this, correct me if I’m wrong)

 This was the most time I’ve spent with any large group of Filipinos which may have reached at least one thousand or more attendees.  Those grouped in this photo is not even a quarter of who came.  Being only three years since I’ve kindled a relationship with my kinship and communities, FANHS has helped grow Filipino communities local and abroad, foster dialogue, and learning.  

When I first started telling my story to others at this conference, I soon found out that there was a Filipina, Lorial Crowder, who was hosting a workshop.  She had founded the Filipino Adoptees Network.  Of course, I was hunting her down the entire conference.  We met finally during her workshop panel where I had met a few other Filipino adoptees and watched a documentary film called “Left On Lockett Lane” filmed and produced by Jon Reinert.  From there was another transformation and realization.  

 

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I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.

–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee

–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary

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