July, 2013 | Binitay Documentary

July 6, 2013

Awakened.

[4 days left for my Kickstarter Campaign] My eyes were opened wide after my first FANHS Seattle conference in 2010.

FANHS Rizal Park, Photo credits to Aldrich Sabac (I believe he took this, correct me if I'm wrong) — FANHS Rizal Park, Photo credits to Aldrich Sabac (I believe he took this, correct me if I’m wrong)

This was the most time I’ve spent with any large group of Filipinos which may have reached at least one thousand or more attendees. Those grouped in this photo is not even a quarter of who came. Being only three years since I’ve kindled a relationship with my kinship and communities, FANHS has helped grow Filipino communities local and abroad, foster dialogue, and learning.

When I first started telling my story to others at this conference, I soon found out that there was a Filipina, Lorial Crowder, who was hosting a workshop. She had founded the Filipino Adoptees Network. Of course, I was hunting her down the entire conference. We met finally during her workshop panel where I had met a few other Filipino adoptees and watched a documentary film called “Left On Lockett Lane” filmed and produced by Jon Reinert. From there was another transformation and realization.

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I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.

–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee

–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary

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July 3, 2013

Connecting the dots.

[7 Days left for my Kickstarter Campaign]

The earliest photo of me. This is the first photo my parents had received upon my adoption and finally knowing who their son looks like and will be.

The cover sheet to my adoption papers has documented the darkest part of my story. I had never seen my adoption papers. When I turned eighteen, I found out about these, and because I was unsure if I had to be a legal adult, I asked for these documents as a birthday present when I turned eighteen.

Things did not match up being that I was an orphan. I never knew the story of how I made it to the orphanage, until my birthday.

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I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.

–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee

–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary

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July 2, 2013

Racism and Racial Microaggressions

[8 days left for my Kickstarter Campaign] Please don’t dismiss by experiences by saying “Well I think everyone deals with racism and microaggressions…blah, blah, blah…”, but please simply listen to my experience and try to understand my experience. I hope that instead of getting angry, that we think of ways to find solutions to these occurrences, because this could be your child as well facing these same struggles. I encourage creating dialogue to help find solutions. I’m not here to silence others. I’m here to voice mine. In my own poetic way, I’m not outspoken. I speak out.

I’ll list every name in the book that I know as growing up as both ‘colored’ and an adoptee:

Yellow, brown, poop and shit (because of my brown skin), beaner, wetback, chink, gook, alien, terrorist, faggot, unwanted child, your parents didn’t love you, problem child

Honestly, I did internalize a lot of these labels. I hated my own skin. I hated standing out. I did not tell anybody, especially parents and family. It was not until I learned how to communicate certain issues properly to them. When I finally had done so with my adoptive mom, my mom, it was a release in so much animosity and anger. The end result was me crying my eyes out. This was only a few months ago.

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I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.

–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee

–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary

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July 1, 2013July 1, 2013

Binitay: The innate smells and sounds of nostalgia

[9 days to go for my Kickstarter Campaign] This place is most unique, eye-opening, and life changing things that had happened. If it were not for meeting Georgiana Rose Tutay, I might not have come across this place or certain events may not have followed because of it. My first few trips coming here brought back nostalgic memories of both the language of familiarity and tastes of the Philippines. I could recall the tastes and say I’ve eaten the foods before. The salty vinegar taste of chicken adobo was so foreign yet so familiar.

The voices were familiar. I could hear people speak Tagalog and could recognize it. But, when I just so happened to hear someone speak Cebuano, my island dialect, my body would freeze and it was as if the language with me all along. I knew it was something familiar but I couldn’t express it. I could make out a Cebuano dialect among a sea of Tagalog tongues as if they were calling to me. It just was that innate. I call it a “ping”, like a tuning fork when it resonates with another that is the same tune.

I felt home. Yet, I felt alien.

_________

I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.

–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee

–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary

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July 1, 2013July 1, 2013

Binitay: A home away from “home”.

**Philippine American Community Center of Michigan**

9 days to go for my Kickstarter campaign. It was not until 2007 that I had first met Filipinos since the time of my adoption. This is one of many homes of “Little Manila” in Michigan. It was my first culture shock, or taste of it, If put in any simplest words. It was the first time seeing other people who looked just like me. It was the first time looking similarly to someone else, ethnicity-wise. This is the Philippine American Community Center of Michigan. Although coming here, I feel at home, at the same time I have an internal struggle of belonging. Something is missing…

From here is when the ball was set in motion for a chain reaction of events and a series of things fell into place.

_________

I invite you to join me on the rest of this journey to reach back as I move forward.

–> Visit my Kickstarter campaign at http://kck.st/filipinoadoptee

–> Join our Facebook community at http://www.facebook.com/binitaydocumentary

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